just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
