it hurts more in the daytime
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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