i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
