Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed

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(810): View more from Michigan

There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing

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(816): View more from Missouri

I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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(810): View more from Michigan

I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF

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(647): View more from Ontario

didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?

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(785): View more from Kansas

Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!

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