Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
