Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
