Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
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He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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