Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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