well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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