carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
