it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
