I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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