Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize