bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
