Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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