moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
