So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Terrible idea I love it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
