Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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