i already hear my dad disowning me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
