he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
