porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
