sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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