Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
