You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
