One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize