How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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