make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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