and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
this hospital has no fireball
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
