I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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