i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
