Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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