FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
