Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
