Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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