it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
