I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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