Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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