Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
