I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
