No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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