Define "chronic" masturbator.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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