You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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