Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
