there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Drunk is not a location!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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