South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
