also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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