i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I intend to get homeless drunk
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
