Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
