Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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