I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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