I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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