But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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