Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
