He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
