i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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