what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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