all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
