So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
