Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
