i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
